Beautiful Lies Read online

  However, that night I was there with Cam. It felt cozy, comfortable, and safe. He had given me a gift. Not just his body but a sense of connection to another human being. It had been such a long time since I had that feeling that up until that moment, I could not recollect what it was like. And then it happened. I got scared.

  Cam said he wanted to make love to me. What did that mean exactly? Did he mean that he loved me? Yes, I was grateful for this sense of connection with him. However, I was certainly in no position to entertain the thought of love. Besides, over the course of human history, how many men have said the word “love” right before the sex act? A lot. Was I overreacting? Overanalyzing? How could I be sure?

  “What’s wrong?” Cam asked. Damn, my ambivalence was all over my face.

  “Nothing,” I responded as I mentally calculated the outcome of a myriad of future probabilities. Shit, I had no idea where all this was headed.

  I was not naïve, though. Cam and I had crossed the line big time. Now, no matter what course we took, there was going to be some kind of danger up ahead. Someway, somehow, somebody was going to get hurt.

  But I decided that for once I was not going to go berserk over words, overthinking everything. I had so few good times in my life, and here I was actually experiencing one. I was going to just indulge in the rest of this resplendent moment and enjoy being with this awesome man. However, I was still terrified.

  I worried that I had come off like a bitch. It had been a couple of hours since Cam said he wanted to make love to me, and I was still ruminating over it. Now he slept next to me in what appeared to be the most peaceful slumber. But before he had drifted off, once again he asked me if I was happy. I skirted the question, of course. However, Cam almost did not let me get away with it. He took my face into his hands, kissed me, and asked again. I almost succumbed and spilled my soul, but thankfully he told me that I did not have to answer right then.

  My aloof reaction must have seemed strange to Cam. But the fact remained that I was someone else’s woman. I tried to relay my feelings of guilt by telling myself that it was not my intention to sleep with Cam; I just wanted to say hello and have a friendly afternoon chat. That was bullshit, and I knew it. I must have fantasized about screwing him at least thirty times that day. I planned the whole thing.

  Cam had to make it all the more difficult by giving me the best sex of my life. To top it all off, I really did have some kind of feelings for him. There was no way I could deny it. However, my greatest fear bubbled up. This fear haunted me my whole life. That fear was that Cam was enamored with the illusion of who I pretended to be. So many times before, so-called love arrived but jettisoned away as my fatal flaws came to the surface. If Cam got to know the real me, I was sure he would abandon me like everyone else I cared about did. I could not take another heartbreak.

  The other problem was Sig. I did not have any real love for him. However, emotions never provided security or career success. Besides, being involved with Cam was risky. I really did not know him; we had only seen each other a few times over the course of a couple weeks. What was to say that this fling would last? Right now, at that moment, Cam looked like a prime prospect, but I could not be sure. At least I knew what I was getting with Sig. There was no guesswork. I already knew who he was, and he had provided me with many advantages. When it came down to Sig or Cam, it was not so much superficial considerations. It was about survival.

  Cam rustled about and sighed contently. I knew that if I never went home to Sig, Cam would be fine with it. I cannot say that idea was not tempting. I wrestled with the urge to stay there in his bed and never go back to Sig’s mansion. But my dark shadow reminded me that I was a for-shit human being and that I had better get out of there before Cam caught on. I hopped out of bed and tried to sneak out. However, Cam woke up.

  “Hey, sweetie, what are you doing?” he asked in that fucking sexy-as-hell, groggy voice.

  “I’ve got to get home. Before Sig does,” I said, putting my shirt on inside out. I could see the disappointment on Cam’s face.

  “Really? You’re actually going back there? After what just happened?”

  “Cam, I can’t stay. You know that. You’ve known the reality of this situation since the beginning.” Cam hopped out of bed. I lost my breath at the sight of his chiseled, naked body. I wanted more.

  “I’ve got to go right now. Or else,” I rambled, hopping to put on one of my shoes.

  “Or else what?”

  I was tongued-tied as Cam walked toward me. I backed up, right into a wall, trying to avoid his seduction. I swear I actually felt myself melt into it. Cam grabbed me hard and kissed me. I might as well have been underwater drowning because that is what it felt like. My chest was heavy with newly aroused desire. I could not breathe. I became limp and so lightheaded I almost passed out. I got away from him by scooting along the wall to the front door. I fiddled with the doorknob behind me, so butterfingered that I could not twist it open.

  “Oh, God, Cameron, I gotta go right now,” I said. I was practically pleading for him to stop enticing me. I finally managed to open the door and ran out of that loft. Cam wrapped a sheet around his waist and pursued me.

  I made it down the stairs so fast it was like I Star Trekked it from the upper to lower level. However, athletic Cam had no trouble catching up to me as I made it to my car. It did not concern him that he was outside butt naked, draped in only a thin sheet. I slung open the car door, but Cam shut it before I could get in.

  “You don’t have to leave. You can stay here,” he said, seemingly unaffected by the blistering cold wind.

  I just looked at him. The expression on my face revealed that he was trying to force me to make a difficult choice. Cam relented and opened the door for me. I got in and started the engine. He stood outside looking at me, still beckoning me to stay. I let the window down.

  “I’m sorry,” I said with true remorse. Cam leaned in and kissed me on my forehead.

  “Lilly, when you need me, I’ll be here. You count on that.”

  “I know. That’s part of the problem.”

  Cam looked perplexed. “Problem? What problem?”

  “Look at you, Cam. Standing out here like the hero. Can’t you understand that if you were a jerk, it would be so much easier to leave?”

  “So if I spit on your windshield, you would stay?” he joked.

  “No, but I do have to go. Good-bye, Cam.”

  It took everything I had to drive away. I watched him grow smaller in my rearview mirror and lost sight when I turned a corner. All the way home I fought with myself. The greater part of me wanted to turn around and go back to Cam. But the rational part kept me headed home. Besides, it was better this way. Cam still had an idealized version of me. I did not want to mess that up.

  The drive went by too fast. I got home with a couple of waking hours left. Hopefully Sig would not be there. I did not have the fortitude to deal with him. But as bad luck would have it, I saw him standing on the front steps, waiting for me. I took my time driving up, giving myself time to spritz on some perfume to cover Cam’s scent, which was still clinging to my body.

  I entered the circular driveway directly in front of the house and parked. Sig was no gentleman and had no intentions of opening my car door for me. All he did was glare with warranted suspicion. I got out of the car and made sure to keep my eyes from landing on his by pretending to look for something in my purse.

  “Hello, Sig. What’re you doing standing out here in the cold?” I said, still rummaging through my Hermes bag.

  “Where have you been? You did not tell me that you would be out, and I have been calling for the past few hours,” he snarled.

  I reached for the doorknob, trying to get as far away from him as I could. “Really? I must have had the phone on vibrate. I had an early lunch with Tamara. Then I just hung out in the city for a bit. It’s so beautiful in the winter time, you know.”

  Sig held the door closed so I could not go into the h
ouse. He sniffed around me like a hound dog. Suddenly he delivered an open-hand slap to my cheek, knocking me to the cold ground. It was so hard that it rang my ears and caused momentarily blindness.

  “You fucking…nasty…filthy liar! Did you actually think I could not smell another man on you? You reek of him. Who is he?”

  “There’s no one. No one else. I swear. I’m all yours,” I said, crying and lying my ass off.

  “You know why I keep you around? It is not because I love you. I do not even like you. I keep you around because you are my property; you belong to me to do with as I please. And as my property, I own you forever. If you ever think about leaving me or seeing your lover again, just know that I will find out. But do not worry; I will not kill you for it. I will kill him in your place. Make no mistake, I will have him tortured and killed right in front of you. As for your pretty face, acid can rearrange it quite nicely. Now get inside.”

  I got up slowly, making sure not to appear aggressive or spook Sig in any way. He followed close behind me as I made my way to the bedroom. I tried to show no signs of fear or retaliation, for he was an animal and would react to it appropriately. I knew that I could not be as reckless as I was that afternoon because Cam’s life could be at stake. And knowing Sig like I did, I knew that his threat was real. I had no doubt of his ability to follow through.

  Sig kept watch over me like a prison guard. The only way to escape him was to go to the bathroom. I shut the door and locked it. The mirror was taunting me to look into it. I did. Staring back at me was a battered and bruised reflection, not only my skin but my spirit.

  There was some blood in my mouth as a result of biting my cheek when Sig hit me. I spit it out and rinsed the sink. I envied the red spiral of blood draining away into oblivion. I wished I could escape with it. Hell, I even longed to return to that shithole I came from—back to my daddy—which I swore I would never do.

  Oh, who was I kidding? I deserved that slap. No matter what wool I pulled over Cam’s eyes, I was still a nobody. Worse than a nobody. I was nothing.

  I ran water for a bath and downed two Prozac. As I sank into the steamy water, I felt Cam rinsing off me. I fishtailed my hand through the water as Cam’s essence floated in the clear liquid. That put a smile on my face, but it dissolved just as fast as it came. The gears in my heart were in overdrive, and I had no idea how to get them back to neutral. I became nauseous at the thought of never seeing him again.

  But I had to let Cam go. Or else he might die.

  Chapter Thirteen

  I was under the impression that Mr. Wotherspoon and I were going to have a general meeting. But as I entered his office, I was surrounded by undercover detectives and Chief Pepperdine, the chief of police. As always, Xander crept in the corner, watching me like he wanted to pull my fingernails out.

  “Yes, Mr. Wotherspoon? You wanted to see me,” I said as the others watched me curiously. By his relaxed mannerisms, I could see that Mr. Wotherspoon was way too familiar with these law enforcement officials. Moreover, I felt like I was being set up for something. A disconcerting knot clenched in my belly as Wotherspoon uncharacteristically put his arm around my shoulder.

  “This is Cameron Sterling, the newest member of our elite little club. Get to know this one because he is going places,” Mr. Wotherspoon said to the others, and then he addressed me. “Cam, these men are an invisible part of the Wotherspoon team. They help us out with special favors and protection. Think of them as our clandestine friends pulling all the right strings behind the scenes for us.”

  “Now that you have been initiated, I take it that we will have a symbiotic relationship where all benefit from the union. A perfect brotherhood,” Chief Pepperdine said as he put his arm around my other shoulder. I felt my asshole tighten up in anticipation of some secretive gay rite like the ones I had read about on the Internet.

  “No, no. Cam has not been fully initiated yet, but he is well on his way. He is working on the Sig Krok case,” Mr. Wotherspoon explained as he walked away from me. The police chief and detectives nodded like they had some insider information I was not hip to.

  Mr. Wotherspoon picked up a stack of files that had Sig’s name written on all the tabs. What made this notable was that the firm had a strict color-coding system, and these files were white. Never in all my years at Wotherspoon and Associates had I ever seen white files.

  “Cam, today you are going to meet with Mr. Krok. He has mentioned some personal problems at home. Since he has paid us handsomely, we will go over and above to help him out in whatever way we can. We cannot afford to have one of our bricks fall out of the wall. Our success is intimately connected with his—and also with his failure.”

  “What exactly is Sig’s problem?” I asked as if I did not know.

  “He believes his wife is cheating on him,” Chief Pepperdine said.

  The last person I wanted to see was Sig, but I had not heard from Lilly since we made love. She had not responded to any of my texts or voicemails. I wondered if she had gotten cold feet. Maybe I could surreptitiously find out from Sig how she was doing.

  “All right. When and where?” I asked.

  Mr. Wotherspoon gave me the specifics while he opened a hidden safe behind a picture. He must have been distracted because he tapped in his code right in front of me. I got all the digits.

  Really, Mr. Wotherspoon? Your birthday. How lame.

  There was only one number that I missed—the last one.

  Zagat could not rate The Fordham Steakhouse high enough. Devoid of the annoying hipster crowd, The Fordham catered to an upper-crust clientele who relished in the subdued yet elegant environment. Low lighting, burgundy accents, and dark wood paneling created an atmosphere of understated sophistication. The polished wait staff dressed in black pants and vests accented with stark white shirts. The white linen napkins draped over their arms added a special touch. Just as smug as the gilt-edged diners, they proudly served the best whites and reds as well as lobster and perfectly aged beef.

  I was hoping to arrive before Sig, but the hostess informed me that he was already there. She led me past small groups of ambitious businessmen, power brokers, and old-money spinsters to a large booth at the back of the restaurant where Sig had taken up residence.

  “Nice to see you again, Mr. Krok,” I said as I extended my hand. Sig did not return the favor.

  Sig had always looked at me with an icy stare, but today it was more frigid than usual. “The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Sterling. I hope you don’t mind. I took the liberty of ordering for the both of us.”

  I could see that he was trying to take the alpha dog role. Whatever. I decided that I would go along with his nonsense, not revealing any of my playbook. “That’s fine. I’m sure you have exquisite taste in food like everything else,” I said.

  “Like Lilly,” Sig responded.

  A chill went up my spine. I looked at him a little more closely. Behind his eyes I saw that he still suspected something was going on between Lilly and me. I wondered if that was why I had not heard from her. Did Sig get to her?

  “Like Lilly,” I said. “Also like your empire, which we are trying to protect.”

  Sig’s mouth twitched. He knew I was diverting attention away from Lilly, trying to control the direction of the conversation.

  I said, “I have been over some of your records, and I have found some things that need explanation. There are certain purchases made for the individual named Z that have been listed as business expenditures.” I pulled out some of the records and slid them over to Sig. “But they sure don’t look like business to me. Mr. Krok, these are personal.”

  I waited for him to flinch. However, he just sat there with no apparent look of concern. Sig knew he was basically untouchable, and my involvement in the case was a mere formality. What Sig wanted, though, was to manipulate me into spilling the beans about Lilly and me.

  He said, “You know that I am a man of means, don’t you? And whether we call those purchases business or
personal does not matter. Take Lilly, for instance. I spend money on her. It is personal because she is my girlfriend. However, it is also business because as much as I hate to admit it, she has enhanced Klå. Either way I have bought and paid for her. She is mine.”

  My fists balled up under the table. I was a hair’s breath away from jumping across it and beating the smirk off Sig’s face. “No disrespect, but I’m sure Lilly has a different perspective on your association.”

  Sig gave me the crooked smile of a maniac. “Lilly has no problem with our arrangement. Gold-digging social climbers never do. Haven’t you thought about why she is with me? I’m significantly older than her and admittedly not much to look at. But what I lack in youth and physical appeal, I make up for with success and money. Because of me, Lilly keeps the best company and can buy whatever her heart desires. Once women like her get used to the type of lifestyle I have provided, they never go backward.”

  I knew Sig was right. I had seen too many wives of wealthy clients put up with all sorts of bullshit in exchange for mansions, jewels, and luxury vacations. Love could indeed be bought. What I learned about Lilly through the media was that she had a habit of dating increasingly more powerful men. Even though I was an attorney, financially and socially I would be a step down from Sig Krok.

  “There is also that thing with Lilly’s father,” Sig said as he took a sip of tea. “He was a pedophile.”

  I was aghast, mortified at what I was hearing. But my mind would not let it register. I obviously did not hear Sig correctly. “Come again?”