Beautiful Lies Page 8

  “What in the flying fuck are you doing?” I yelled.

  Rebecca still had her ass plastered to the floor and was propped up on her elbows. She was somewhat in shock. “What’d you do that for?”

  I reached my hand out and helped her up. She rubbed her aching butt as my overzealousness had obviously hurt her. I created a wide distance between us by heading to the kitchen.

  Rebecca said, “I know it’s not Sunday night, but I thought I’d surprise you. Aren’t you glad to see me?”

  “I thought you were a burglar,” I said, still walking away. I was pissed off that she was in my apartment. Fuck, how did she get into it in the first place? I swung around and asked her, “Rebecca, how did you get in here?”

  Rebecca sauntered toward me. She had that dumb, pouty look on her face. “I told you to call me Becky. And to answer your question, I took the spare key. I didn’t think you’d mind since I’m your girlfriend.”

  I did not take the time to correct her assertion. I was more interested in getting to my desk drawer, where I kept the spare key. Sure enough, it was gone. I looked at Rebecca. She was coyly swinging the key in front of her.

  “Is this what you’re looking for?”

  “All right, enough playing around. Give me my key.”

  Rebecca shook her head no. “What are you so upset for? It’s not like I’m a stranger. I practically live here. I am the girlfriend, right?”

  “You don’t live here, and you are not my girlfriend.”

  “We’ll see about that.”

  Rebecca proceeded to strip off all her clothes. She did look hot thanks to a fresh spray-on tan and hours of kickboxing. She was vibrant, so very much alive as juxtaposed to my current depressed state. She put her finger in her mouth, sucked, and pulled it out. She then ran her wet fingertip over my lips.

  “I’m sorry. Do you forgive me, Daddy?”

  The “Daddy” part threw me for a loop, but that did not stop my dick from getting hard. I felt her hand softly grope my balls, using her finger to stroke and separate them. She drew in closer to me and stood on her toes so she could kiss my neck. I tried not to let her get to me, but I gave in to her seductive truce. I found myself putting my arms around her and kissing her back.

  I had no love for Rebecca, but I was man. I did man shit. And an integral part of man shit is fucking a woman who is just basically putting her pussy out there. Plus I was still hot and bothered from the interrupted sexcapade between Lilly and me.

  Besides, I was a free agent. It was not like Lilly and I had some sort of real relationship. We just almost fucked a lot. And based on the way that Sig was fondling her ass today, Lilly was probably getting the shit fucked out of her at that very moment. In fact, it was only logical that Sig was fucking her. No rational man “keeps” a woman without fucking her.

  So it made no sense to pass up sex with Rebecca—someone I had been fucking all along. Also I just wanted to feel better, to get out of this stupid funk.

  With a clear conscious I decided to indulge myself with Rebecca. She wasted no time undressing me. Hell, she was so ravenous that I thought she was going to rip the buttons off my shirt and the zipper out of my jeans. Rebecca positioned herself on the floor and then spread her legs. Her juices were plentiful, glistening, and thick. In a fell swoop I mounted her. As I inserted my thick knob deeper inside, I heard her gasping for breath as ecstasy overtook her.

  Though my body was there with Rebecca, my mind was still on Lilly. I looked down and superimposed Lilly’s face onto hers. My dick seemed to grow even longer, and my pelvis started to pound into Rebecca’s with more vigor. The more I thought about Lilly, the faster I pumped. Rebecca called out my name as she came hard. I came, too, and had to stifle the urge to scream Lilly’s name.

  Rebecca tried to keep me on top of her in an effort to bond. But I rolled off of her as fast as I could. Still breathing hard, she looked over at me with utter amazement. “Damn, what got into you? That was the best sex I ever had. Jesus, did you take vitamins today or what?”

  I just lay there quietly as Lilly drifted from my mind like a ghost.

  Rebecca put her hand on my stomach and grinned at me. “I can stay tonight. You know, pretend like we’re married…Mr. and Mrs. Sterling. I can even make you some dinner. What do you want? Steak? Chicken? More of me?”

  I gave her a sideways glance. “Not hungry. Had croissants.”

  Rebecca rose up and looked at me like I was a stranger to her. “Croissants?” she said incredulously. “Since when do you eat croissants? That is in no way your style.”

  “Yeah, croissants,” I responded. I stood up and put my underwear back on. I pointed at Rebecca’s bra. “Make sure you don’t forget that. That way, you don’t have to come back for it.”

  “You could give me a drawer, and I can leave it in there.”

  “Nah, I don’t have any extra space. Where is your car parked? I have—”

  Rebecca finished my thought for me. “I know. You’re tired and have to get up early in the morning. I know the routine.”

  I actually felt sorry for her. She sounded so pitiful and was genuinely hurt. She was trying so hard to be a girlfriend. The problem was that she was dealing with a man who did not want to be her boyfriend. In some ways, it was my fault. I was leading her on, making her live in some sort of limbo. What I perceived to be a clearly designated hookup relationship, she saw as a real pairing. I was not trying to give mixed signals, but apparently I had.

  For once I showed Rebecca some compassion. After we got dressed, I escorted her to her car. I had never done that before. She looked up at me as if pleading for me to love her. Then I did something else that I had never done before—hugged her. Not out of affection but sympathy, like she was a wounded animal. Really, I was not a sadist; I did not get off on causing pain to another.

  Rebecca clung to me. “Cam, I love you. All I ever wanted was for you to love me back. Tell me I’m not wrong for that… please.”

  I had to push her away so that she would release me. I did not want to devastate her with the truth, not that night anyway. I already had my own emotional issues to deal with. So I did the best I knew to do. I kissed Rebecca on her forehead and made sure she was secure in her car. She turned on the engine and let the window down. I spoke to her as though she were a child. I also made sure not to lean into the window, avoiding the chance that she would kiss me. “Let me know you got home safe,” I said.

  Unfortunately, Rebecca took my words as a sign of love. She perked up and said, “Okay, I will. As soon as I get home.” She paused for a moment then continued, “You know, you can come over to my place sometime. I already have a drawer waiting for you.”

  That made me cringe. I stepped away from the car as I waved Rebecca off. With renewed hope, she disappeared into the evening darkness.

  Chapter Ten

  I started my day with an early morning run at The Equity. I told myself that I was only there to clear my head. But I knew that in the back of my mind, I was really there on the off-chance that I would run into Lilly.

  The hours slowly ticked by, indicated by the large clock hanging ominously on the stark white wall. According to my treadmill, I had run ten miles. However, I was so focused on the door, hoping Lilly would come through it, that I did not even notice how far I had run. I had to get away from that clock. I went over to some weights situated near a line of windows. I tried not to look out of them, but I could not help scouring the street below hoping to catch sight of Lilly.

  In an effort to stave off the desire to see her, I added more weight to the barbell. With every repetition, my restlessness grew. I moved on to a boot camp class already in progress. Nothing I did could burn up the excess energy in me. And Lilly was still nowhere to be seen. Despite the multiple workouts I had, I still considered the visit to be a bust. The only other thing I could think to do was go to the office. I took my time packing my gear. Still no Lilly.

  Shit. Just get over it. She is not coming. She is at
home probably not even thinking about you. Why are you wasting time on this woman? Focus on work. Get that promotion.

  I followed my own advice and went straight to work. Since it was the weekend, and no one else was there, I did not see the need to take a shower and relished my own naturalness.

  When I entered my office, I discovered that someone had put a folder on my desk. I opened it and saw it was filled with more of Sig’s financial records. He had been a bad boy indeed. Lucky for him, he had beaucoup money and people like me who knew how to hide assets and monies for him. If Sig had been a regular, blue-collar guy, the IRS would have thrown him in prison a long time ago.

  One thing for sure was that whoever the mysterious Z was, Sig had been shelling out big bucks. Even though the purchases were listed as business expenditures, I could tell that they were in essence gifts. A house in Thailand. Cars. Monthly food allowances. These “expenditures” had added up to roughly two million dollars. I could have pestered the partners to reveal to me more about who this Z person was. But ultimately my only job was just to make the numbers appear to be legit, and I was good at that.

  There was something else in the folder—a Blu-ray disc. I scooted my chair over to the disc player that I used when studying footage of depositions. As the video streamed across the television screen, I realized that it was from the gala. Wotherspoon and Associates had a habit of secretly taping everything they were involved in. I did not even know who filmed this.

  I fast-forwarded to the part where Lilly first entered the ballroom. When her winsome face filled the screen, my terrible longing for her grew with a vengeance. I was helpless to stop it. With almost unbearable yearning, I kept watching until the disc reached the part where Lilly was being interviewed. I pushed pause on the remote, and Lilly’s image froze.

  The most primal part of my being wanted to set off back to Sig’s house and bring Lilly back home with me. But if I did that, all hell would break loose. I would be fired and disbarred more than likely. Lilly would lose any shot at her dream of becoming the face of Klå, and it would be doubtful she could ever secure any other work as a model. We would be two pathetic souls, not to mention broke. But the sex would be wild.

  No, passion was not reason enough to put Lilly through a living hell. All this back and forth was making me crazy anyhow. For now it was best to keep some space between Lilly and me until cooler heads and genitals could prevail.

  I found myself pacing back and forth in front of Klå headquarters. The building was located only a block away from Central Park. It was nothing to see a celebrity out for a morning jog or walking their children to some exclusive private school. But lately I was shocked by the number of these famous people who actually knew who I was for a change. This was all because of Sig’s prodigious reputation. As his girlfriend, I gleaned some of that mystique by proxy. Everyone was so fascinated that I actually made Sig settle down into what falsely appeared to be domestic bliss.

  But if there had been any real bliss to it, I would not have been standing there. Though I kept my head down to keep from being recognized, I was still being inundated by never-ending hellos from longtime employees cycling in and out. I tried to be polite and look as nonsuspect as possible. But I could see that a few of them were not falling for my bad acting job and wondered why in the hell I was shuffling outside the building like I was homeless. Little did they know that a crazy internal debate was oscillating inside of me.

  See, the memory of Cam’s sizzling touch was still scorching my skin. That was a huge problem for me because now a sexual combustion inflamed me, and I had not been able to put it out. I did not even have his phone number or an email address, which was so silly to me considering that I let that man suck my nipples.

  I was pushed by my libido to get in contact with Cam. Practically all of my waking hours for the past couple of days revolved around trying to get that information. That Cam, he was a mysterious one. He had made sure that none of his personal information was out there. No Facebook. Twitter. Shit, not even Pinterest. Even if I did have his contact information, I would not have had a legitimate reason for contacting him.

  But fuck it. I was horny, and my body was in desperate need of satisfaction. Yes, I could have had the usual mechanical-style coitus with Sig. However, all that would have done was piss me off and drive me closer to sticking a fork in his eye. I wanted Cam. He was the only one who could satisfy me.

  A disturbing thought stopped in my tracks right in the middle of the sidewalk. Could I actually be addicted to Cameron Sterling?

  I examined the evidence. I had absolutely no control over the frenetic thoughts about Cam that constantly bombarded me. I had felt ridiculously jittery and moody ever since our romp in the maze. In fact my psychological tension had ratcheted up until it hit such a painful denouement that it could only be compared to a panic attack. That is why I was compelled by a seemingly unnatural force to get into my car and drive like a mindless zombie to New York. Yeah, I was definitely obsessed.

  Now I found myself pacing and shivering outside a warm building next to a hoarded-up group of smokers. They were willing to brave icy conditions just to get a nicotine fix. I, however, had a different fix in mind. Like with any drug, I was past merely wanting Cam; I needed him. So as far as addiction symptoms went, I scrolled down my list and checked off every one. Right then I finally came to terms about my feelings for Cam and what the unpleasant consequences could mean for me. I did not care anymore; I was willing to risk them.

  Despite my decision to be a philanderer, I felt no guilt, quite the contrary. A sense of calm cascaded over me as I went from ambiguous to steadfast with the goal of procuring Cam’s phone number and address. The problem was how I could do it without arousing the suspicion of Klå’s loyal and gossipy employees. I decided to just go for it as I strolled into the building’s atrium.

  Those uninitiated into the gratuitous lifestyle of the rich were always gobsmacked into a stupor when they entered its fabled doors. Sig made sure no expense was spared when it came to designing Klå headquarters. The entrance consisted of an abnormally tall revolving door with burnished trim. Each of its four panels displayed the Klå trademark—a red cross with a thorny rose. One of the first things that greeted you as you exited the roundabout was the intoxicating scent. The dreamy aroma was like a finger that dragged you around by the nose. It was a clean yet decidedly masculine smell that reminded me of a day at the beach. It was piped through the vents and was thick enough to replace the oxygen.

  Going deeper, the magnificent atrium would make Prince Alwaleed drop to his knees in awe. It was so massive I might as well have entered inner earth. I needed sunglasses to protect my eyes from the gleam of the highly glossed stone floors with glittery flecks for more luminous effect. Large planters and gigantic indoor trees gave the illusion of being in a tropical rainforest. All the plants stretched toward the high ceiling as if reaching for heaven. Back on earthly ground, a crush of unblemished models carried look books, while aspiring fashion designers towed sketches and fabric swatches.

  My attention gravitated toward the models the most. They scared me. Though I was a model, there was never a point in my career when I had any of the confidence that those ladies and gentlemen had. The only way I could fake it was when I sneaked a few tranquilizers and liquor. I could not dwell on that too much, though. I was on a mission.

  Somewhere between the sidewalk and the atrium, things started to change. Sure, when I first entered Klå’s doors, I was full of myself and basically beating my chest. With the thought of Cam driving me, I felt like I could change the rotation of the planet. Confidence crackled out of me like electricity. However, my hubris was short-lived. With every step the shadow of my insecurity popped me on the back of the head, reminding me of my utter nothingness. Really, who did I think I was fooling, trying to play a secret agent gathering information from behind enemy lines?

  I eventually made it to the corporate office’s main floor and was somewhat relieved th
at Katie Bean, one of Sig’s secretaries, was working that day. Katie was an older lady who had youthful dreams of being a designer in the industry, but they never came to fruition. She took on whatever industry-related job she could, always hoping to catch a break. But age had caught up to her, and now all she could do was work behind a desk at Klå. She was reconciled to her fate and had come to accept this opportunity. It gave her a chance to have a reason to dress stylish every day and kept her young at heart. Today Katie looked exceptionally sexy for a woman in her sixties, dressed in a tight pencil skirt and high-heeled Mary Janes.

  Though I liked Katie, I was terrified of becoming her. Her life was the embodiment of that poem “A Dream Deferred.” I did not want to have a life of unfulfilled goals and settling for the next best thing. As I made my way toward Katie, I glanced up at effigies of former Klå spokesmodel superstars. My feet got heavy, and I started to move like I was trudging through sludge. Those images seemed to look down on me, judging and laughing. Like they knew I would never be one of them.

  Regroup, Lilly. No time to think about becoming the face of Klå. Cam is what you are after now.

  With Cam being my guiding light, I gained some mental hysterical strength and was able to continue with my quest. With steady confidence, I fended off my anxiety and managed to smile.

  “Good morning, Ms. Amsel,” Katie said, beaming. “What can I do for you today?”

  Okay. Look Katie straight in the eye, flash her a smile, and lie your ass off.

  I said, “Actually, you can do a lot for me. See, Sig is meeting an important client today, but I really need to get in contact with him.”

  Katie went through Sig’s appointment book. “I don’t see a meeting scheduled for Sig today. Just a spa day.”

  Great. Katie’s on to me. Never mind that. Just keep on lying.